falling off

tomorrow is my penance
for what’s been done today
allegations don’t exist
there’s nothing left to say

pulled back from the edge
before I could fall off
such an easy solution
for everything lost

but maybe he’ll get better
maybe he’ll get well
you shouldn’t try to gauge
another’s personal hell

bridge

you can’t see them from here
they’re too scared to come near
held back by clutching hands
on deaf ears fall their demands

to span the gap is to give in
releasing all that is within
showing all that they contain
the beating heart controls the vein

there’s no compassion in this game
when there are those without a name
there’s solace behind closed doors
bound gagged and struck down to the floor

there is no way to justify
all of the pain and all the lies
apologetic hypocrite
don’t move aside just take the hit

monologue

and then they came
right through me
those without names
from what i could see

so strange to hear
so distant yet....
i heard it all
and i knew fear

through the sound
beneath the layers
came to be found
these grisly players

if all the world’s a stage
and we merely pawns
what’s to stop the rabble
from bringing the new dawn

untitled

you don’t need this tonite
everything could be alright
just looking at your face
i’m lost in your embrace

as i turned to leave
nothing could make me believe
that life went on outside
where there’s no place to hide

you knew me then
and you know me now
but i’m always so scared
you won’t like what’s found

doesn’t matter what happens
i’ll always be here with you
because this is more than worth
all we’ve gone through

a father's pride

never there before
always far away
i can’t take much more
i don’t know the way
if maybe you were here
then maybe i could hide
i could shield myself
with my father’s pride

but you
have never been here
can’t wait
around for you
if i stay/scream
will my voice be heard
above
all the rest
i won’t know
until you tell me
why
this seemed best

no one here with me
to help me thru
i’m always alone
because of you

now

so it sounds selfish, thinking of only me
all i’m doing is realizing what could be
this is not greed, this is not lust
why’s it so wrong to think of only us?

when balancing the good and the bad
can’t base anything on what we “might’ve had”
everything is in the here, the now
it would all be so easy, if I knew how

wait for better days
stay within this haze
think of other ways
lose yourself in this maze

but wait, i have it easy, i know that’s true
and i’m making it so unfair to you
i can see your point, i don’t know why
i ever thought this would be so cut and dry

it takes all the patience i’ve got
to not always burn with one thought
wishing i was there, or you were here
giving anything just to have you near

the method

so just drag me across the nails
(not like i haven’t been before)
i can take the pain, it heals
(yet i wonder how much more)

look at him, they say
(like they always do)
he always acts this way
(never seen what I’ve gone thru)

draw back farther, head down
(there‘s always a place)
went too far, hit the ground
(no one there, not one face)

this part of me can’t hide
won’t always be denied
if you want beneath my skin
this is what you’re getting in

there’ll be no reprise
(did you think there would?)
by telling more lies
(this is for your own good)

for a stepfather

found the pain today
surfaced thru the gray
try this on for size
this is my demise

what you don’t see
is what controls me
what you don’t hear
breaks me with fear

and then you decide
to fuck up my life
I won’t let you win
see what dwells within

what you don’t see
is what sets me free
what you don’t know
is how far I’ll go

never asked me why
no, I won’t deny
your one-sided view
shows it perfectly
...for you

the wait

and i found out that day
there could be no other way
threw restrictions aside
it had to be tried

pushed away in the past
let through in contrast

in that one perfect moment
i knew it was not in vain
they try to control my movement
seeking to stop any gain

and so it seems it’s not right
to think of only me
can’t ruin other’s lives
just to find destiny

but then I sit and cry
wondering why in my mind
it has to be this way
waiting another day

love sonnet

Unlike we are of mind and of the soul
To think I let you pass these walls of mine
The pain and torture has taken its toll
Our fates, they were not meant to intertwine

You asked what I felt but did not listen
I tried my best not to see all the lies
The light of your eyes, not once did glisten
Your true intent hidden behind your guise

I tried in vain to salvage what was left
The warmth of your fake tears upon my face
The only way out, to be left bereft
No longer will I withstand your embrace

And now that you come crawling back for more
I shall not forget, ‘twas you I abhor