now

so it sounds selfish, thinking of only me
all i’m doing is realizing what could be
this is not greed, this is not lust
why’s it so wrong to think of only us?

when balancing the good and the bad
can’t base anything on what we “might’ve had”
everything is in the here, the now
it would all be so easy, if I knew how

wait for better days
stay within this haze
think of other ways
lose yourself in this maze

but wait, i have it easy, i know that’s true
and i’m making it so unfair to you
i can see your point, i don’t know why
i ever thought this would be so cut and dry

it takes all the patience i’ve got
to not always burn with one thought
wishing i was there, or you were here
giving anything just to have you near

the method

so just drag me across the nails
(not like i haven’t been before)
i can take the pain, it heals
(yet i wonder how much more)

look at him, they say
(like they always do)
he always acts this way
(never seen what I’ve gone thru)

draw back farther, head down
(there‘s always a place)
went too far, hit the ground
(no one there, not one face)

this part of me can’t hide
won’t always be denied
if you want beneath my skin
this is what you’re getting in

there’ll be no reprise
(did you think there would?)
by telling more lies
(this is for your own good)

for a stepfather

found the pain today
surfaced thru the gray
try this on for size
this is my demise

what you don’t see
is what controls me
what you don’t hear
breaks me with fear

and then you decide
to fuck up my life
I won’t let you win
see what dwells within

what you don’t see
is what sets me free
what you don’t know
is how far I’ll go

never asked me why
no, I won’t deny
your one-sided view
shows it perfectly
...for you

the wait

and i found out that day
there could be no other way
threw restrictions aside
it had to be tried

pushed away in the past
let through in contrast

in that one perfect moment
i knew it was not in vain
they try to control my movement
seeking to stop any gain

and so it seems it’s not right
to think of only me
can’t ruin other’s lives
just to find destiny

but then I sit and cry
wondering why in my mind
it has to be this way
waiting another day