she found a lonely sound

I've found myself listening to Interpol, of all things. Or, at least, trying to.

Why is it that some songs can knock you back to where nothing else could take you?

The best songs are the ones which everyone can relate to in some way.

The worst songs are the ones which everyone can relate to in some way.

I have this strong feeling that no one understands me. That everything I've ever done has been a waste. That I'm stuck where I am. That nothing I do is getting me anywhere.

Nobody cares enough.

damn you, pink floyd

I

have become

comfortably numb

nevermind.

I'm running in place. Looking over my shoulder to see if I'm still in the race.

Maybe it's time I stopped running.

don't you love it

when people don't have the decency to tell you what's really going on

when people don't have the decency to tell you the whole truth

or they tell you half-truths

or because you didn't "word the question correctly," they don't "word the answer correctly"

or they just don't fucking tell you anything at all and let you find out on your own

it's latin for "to covet"

Came across an old email I wrote that felt like being stabbed in the heart.

At first I laughed, then...

A part of me wonders, "will this ever stop?"

And the rest of me wonders why I'm crying.

How am I supposed to just "move on?" How is anyone who has given all of themselves supposed to turn around and start over with someone else like nothing happened? Or do anything with anyone else? Doesn't anyone care?

temporary

When something goes from "is" to "was," from "forever" to "right now," from "always" to "at the time," from "never" to "possible," from "love" to "loved," from "need" to "needed," and on and on and on and on and

All I want is meaning and honesty. Honesty and meaning. Meaningful honesty. SOMETHING.