ulterior proprioceptive allegory

misanthropic philanthropy prolongs without providing
mob mentality mastication mars objectivity
parallel pseudonymity prevents nothing
facetiously formulaic in function

from this angle

this is so foreign
this is so comfortable
draining light
you are perfection
arms outstretched
I am your shield
fingers tangle and
we find each other again

it's only for the moment
draining light
pulls us back from us
back to routine
back to normal
back to nothing

professional equivocation

and this stoicism lingers on
once can ruin everything you have
second chances are validations

the shortest distance

the hypocritical evangelist
preaching what he can't practice
it only takes a temporary lapse
there is no time there is no space
everything that has happened is happening and will happen
you cannot go back and you cannot go forward
there is only the now

reactionary enlightenment

need to find a way back
this has brought me lower than I thought possible
every day a fading reminder
looking for answers elsewhere has proven fatal
this is all a waste. this is not me.
everything makes sense now, every question of existence is rooted in this
we've had our chances and made our choices
if only we'd listen to ourselves

the slightest illustrative concept

even though I shouldn't, I do
even though I can, I don't
even though I know, I deny

even though I shouldn't, I do

this is your truth

we are the consensus of others
walking dissimilates
ego-centric self-defense facades

we are the conscription of others
prescribed guilt fuels the machine
clockwork cyclical fear-mongering

we are the consumption of others
the end with invisible means
values substituted for (blood) materialism

we are the confinement of others
fitting lives into packaging
with artificial expiration dates

the opposite of

denial of self trapped within commodity
a sickle-cell investment history
catering to the bulimic beauty
every morbid gain a moment of depreciation

you will have none of this and you could care less

cyclical acceptance

that half-awake dreaming state (oscillating ambiance close by)
reminded of a story I wanted to tell him, something he'd laugh at
shake my head awake, going to tell him before I forget

realize without moving that he's gone
something breaks and I slip a little lower
it's the perfect day and he'll never see it

20/20

autoperforation of self
an adhd self-effacement
with knee-jerk skepticism

(burn victim autopsy)

a substitute philosophy
bleeding-heart stoics
crusading against the Other
cover your right eye
and read the first line

tolerance level

no substance can change this
everyone uses something
what do you hide behind?
where's your crutch?
once it's over
you can never go back
even if you wanted to
nothing changes anything

shedding

some things shouldn’t be let go
seconds months years too late
destroyed all the chances given me
that day we were different people
that night I was already gone
see what we want to see
hear what we want to hear
we build each other into effigies
imitations of the ideal

what do you settle for?

but then it always was

fluorescent lighting showing sunken face
squinting eyes shielding meaningless sun
feeling walls in the dark for doors

go to the house on camino del sol
don’t go to the house on camino del sol

sunlight. muted scenery. blurs of pastel people swimming through each other. then you’re there, close enough to breathe. lips curled into a smile you speak, or I do.
i’ve missed you
eyes blinding. myself in the third person, drifting slowly. holding each other I speak, or you do.
this is strange
hypothetical. aimed at no one. the way you used to. my smile falters only in my eyes, but you see it. you fill in the silence.
what? what is it?
edges creeping in. scenery gone. sunlight fading to wooden walls.
I’ve. don’t. no. no please
awake.

scientific names

want to tear things apart with fingers
thrown across the room
kicked into the wall

i will tear this place down and you will not stop me

nothing new

harboring no illusions
we run from ourselves
falling through the floor
we drown in absolutes
with loved ones at the shore
seeing us off
confusing cries for laughter

exemplified

none of you deserve any of this
veneered smiles framed with botox lips
reflect your life upon his
tell your lies embellish your stories
this is not about you

self-preservation

refusal to see your only icon struck down
in his time of vulnerability and (needless) shame
misconstrued and accused as self-interest
incapable of individuality she's surrounded by herself

inherently wrong

there is something inherently wrong expected to align with something contrary context assassination frame of reference defined by frame of mind frantically scrambling to slowly kill ourselves we never miss a dose

apply pressure here

hemorrhaging thoughts ideas ideals principles people rationalizations relationships

everything would be ok if I could just stop the bleeding

the hell of standing still

there is nothing behind my eyes and nothing behind your faces
empathy is not meaning
monotony is not security
everything is moving and nothing is silent
a copy-paste type O positive personality
stand still enough and let your shadow hide in mine