but then it always was

fluorescent lighting showing sunken face
squinting eyes shielding meaningless sun
feeling walls in the dark for doors

go to the house on camino del sol
don’t go to the house on camino del sol

sunlight. muted scenery. blurs of pastel people swimming through each other. then you’re there, close enough to breathe. lips curled into a smile you speak, or I do.
i’ve missed you
eyes blinding. myself in the third person, drifting slowly. holding each other I speak, or you do.
this is strange
hypothetical. aimed at no one. the way you used to. my smile falters only in my eyes, but you see it. you fill in the silence.
what? what is it?
edges creeping in. scenery gone. sunlight fading to wooden walls.
I’ve. don’t. no. no please
awake.

scientific names

want to tear things apart with fingers
thrown across the room
kicked into the wall

i will tear this place down and you will not stop me

nothing new

harboring no illusions
we run from ourselves
falling through the floor
we drown in absolutes
with loved ones at the shore
seeing us off
confusing cries for laughter